Blasted Curiosity

Typical Friday. Our shift starts at 5PM, Manila Time. Very few people around. (Sigh) Thank God for small blessings.
I was having my afternoon coffee in peace, when all of a sudden, one impudent agent of mine walked up to me and sat beside me.

VG: Boss, I've been wonderin...?
Blogger: (looking at my phone, pretending to be busy texting somebody so that the intruder would go away) About?
VG: If your virgin or not.
Blogger: (Now that got my attention. It actually snapped my head up so fast that I got dizzy) Huh? Did I just hear you right? Or am I imagining this conversation?
VG: Don't be mad at me, boss. Me and the boys were just curious.

Ok. So my agents were debating amongst themselves of my gawdamned virginity? Jesus!

Blogger: Er...(blink, blink, blink)
VG: It's ok, Boss. We won't tell anyone.
Blogger: Uh-huh.
VG: It's just that, with you bein' so strict and all, they were saying that your boy might not have had the guts to... you know... do it with you yet.
Blogger: (mentally counting the probability of kicking the twerp's balls) Hmmmm.
VG: I mean, you can't blame us wonderin.. coz you know that Fatz and I have always had the hots for you.
Blogger: I see. (Thank God I don't blush that easily)
VG: we don't mean to offend you! It's just that we can't help but wonder, is all.

I swear, this was the weirdest conversation in my 2 years of being a team lead.

Blogger: Buzz off, VG. I will not dignify your question with an answer.
VG: (smiled like the sun just shined after 40 days of rain) So you are a virgin! I knew I was right!
Blogger: (Silent Prayer: Lord, grant me patience. Or I swear this guy will not last another day in this company) VG, really... this conversation will not make you any more knowledgeable with the product. Stick to your gawdamned manuals!
VG: (grinning like an idiot) Yes, Boss!
Blogger: (grumble, grumble, grumble)